Tuesday, August 3, 2010

"shut up and swallow"

Yesterday was an example of my lazy work. 
I think pieces end up much stronger when I start with a definite setting for a feeling, rather than the emotion itself. 
Today I task myself with doing so. I'm guessing it will probably end up very short and incomplete.

how strange to
see you in my
waking world again,
grumping luggage up a ramp across
the street from my third floor. i cover my
overexcitement by laughing at how
obvious you are. my coworker groans,
remembering your favorite offensive shirt.
i swallow lungfuls of giggles. you disappear.
while we poke fun at you, i think of stealing into
your drawer and burning that goddamn shirt.
i don't decide whether
i'd kiss you
afterward.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I tend to agree with the notion that poems are best when you are inspired or haunted, if you will, by a particular concept and build around it. Though extemporaneous writing can also be very fruitful.

Love "grumping luggage up a ramp" "swallow lungfuls of giggles".

"I don't decide whether I'd kiss you afterward." a little nebulous what this is meant to evoke - I don't decide because I already know I'm going to, or because I'm not sure if I want to declare my affection at all? It works like that, even though vague, but I don't know if you were going for something in particular.

I like this one. It's a nice little moment.

-Rowangrove