This I consider one of my best pieces.
Since I've been posting a lot of short, sloppy pieces lately, I wanted to put this up for comparison.
Take this as inspiration for how to help me edit.
when i met you by the riverbank
the curve of the sun flashed behind your head
as if it were your circlet.
i climbed ashore.
my feet, white and waterpolished pebbles,
sank into the soft filth of the earth.
everything began to itch as
you ran your sunbaked hands across me,
your quiver slipping further down your back.
too late, i spotted the arrow
sealing itself into my side. my skin
curled and hardened in your embrace.
1 comment:
I've critiqued this one before, but I still like it. In particular the phrase, "White and waterpolished pebbles" pops into my mind occasionally; it is, evidently, quite memorable.
-Rowangrove
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